This blog is for caregivers to offer support, advice, honesty, and encouragement. I welcome people to share their thoughts, questions, and advice to both myself and others that come here.
About the Blog Publisher/Admin: My name is Sara Baker Given. I am a 30 something year old caregiver to my mom who had a massive stroke. Read more about my story.
Contact info:
You can follow me on Twitter here.
Business: Lantern Marketing, LLC
Website: http://lanternmarketing.comBusiness Blog: http://lanternmarketingblog.com
Legal: All thoughts and advice written on this blog are for informational purposes only. The content is not intended for professional medical advice, legal advice, etc. or should be used as a substitute for any professional. Also, the blog admin, is not responsible for any comments, advice, or any information others should post here.
After examine a couple of of the blog posts on your website now, and I really like your approach of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website checklist and will likely be checking back soon. Pls take a look at my web page as nicely and let me know what you think.
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Hi Sara, I stumbled upon your blog just today. We are a home care company that helps families find great caregivers. I love the stories you share, it helps us gain a valuable insight on caregiving. Thank you for sharing with us
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Hi Sara. Just writing to say how much I appreciate the writing on your blog. It’s clear that caregivers are some of the strongest people around, and having a safe place to go and share their thoughts and concerns is so important to remaining healthy in such a difficult role.
I am the Content Manager at a company called Seniorly, and we would be honored to feature you as a guest blogger on our site if you are interested.
Feel free to email me for more information. I look forward to hearing from you 🙂
Best,
Jacqueline
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I am a PT caregiver to a dear gentleman, Geo, for the past 5+ years ~ and his sweet wife, Suzi, for 3 before that. Their son and daughter have treated me like part of the family! Geo is near to entering heaven now and it feels like my heart is breaking,,, this flood of emotions are hard to sift through and I need to get back to getting packed up for the other clients and activities of this week. I feel a bit afraid to leave since it likely will be very different when I come back in a week. Writing this down here has helped me not feel so alone ~ in my head, I know I am not but emotionally, in some ways, I feel alone. Thank you & God Bless all who read this and understand❤️
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Hi my name is Steph and new to the blog. Hey there Sara and Michele! Thanks for sharing all these great posts on here and I like all the support. It’s very awesome to see.
Steph
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THE DRESS, IT’S GONNA BE HOT!
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Hello Sara and Michele!!! New to the blog here. Trying to catch up and read all these great posts. Awesome support going on here for all caregivers. It’s refreshing to see. Take care!
Colbie
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Hi there! My name is Mario. I was hoping you could answer a question I have about your blog. Send me an email when you get a chance. You can reach me at trucillo.mario (at) recallcenter (dot) com
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Hi,
My name is Jackie. Below is a link of a press release about ActivCare Living a dementia and Alzheimer’s care company has opened another location in Southern California. Thought since you blog about this stuff, that it may interest you. If so, we’d love for you to share it. If you do share it, let us know, so we can share the share!
http://activcareblog.blogspot.com/2013/11/residential-community-exclusively-built.html
Thanks,
Jackie
ActivCare Living
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I am a caregiver to my 38 yr old paralyzed husband 🙂
Ok, everybody. I’m excited. I am ready to begin my research related to caregivers of partners with Spinal Cord Injury. As many of you know, I am in grad school at Texas Christian University and my research is about family communication with disabled family members. (Wonder where I got that idea? LOL) I NEED at least 100 people to complete this anonymous 10 minute survey. SHARE WITH ANYONE AND EVERYONE who is in a romantic relationship with a paralyzed person. For those of you who don’t know me, I am married to a C-5/C6 quad 😊 Thanks for your help:) I will share my overall findings with the group once I have analyzed them. My goal is to help all of us:) Ready….go!
Here’s the link:
http://tcucommunication.co1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_6Vgj8ZZctjlNDN3
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Aloha,
As you can see, I’m from the 808 state of Hawaii. We’ve been married for 34 years and 2 yrs ago my wife had a series of strokes. And since then our lives have change, like many stroke victims a family member steps into assist or become the caregiver and assist in the daily activities of their lives. I guess we feel a responsibility to our loved ones.
I never really thought that an illness could or would change someone’s behavior even though my baby sister was borne with mental challenges. I guess I thought it was going to be easy, cause of my baby sister. But that’s a whole other story. My wife has always been a multi-task, a go getter, an alpha dog, a leader of the pack type of person. She is a professional working woman, of Executive in nature. And this was fine with me, being in law enforcement, I just wanted to kick back and relax at home. Don’t get me wrong, when I had to step up too the plate, I was there.
So when she had her major stroke, June of 2011, I did step up to the plate. Stepping down from my job, and caring for her. From the time she came home to her going back to work, things seem to be moving in the right direction. Then came the set backs, two more strokes and seizures. More medical bills, remodeling the house to meet her needs and our finances getting smaller and smaller.
These are things I’m ready and able to deal with, but it the psychological part I was totally unprepared for. Her mood swings real hurt and its leads me to remind myself that she is a victim, and I get mad cause there is nothing more I can say or do to help her.
I know that she doesn’t understand my view cause she has told me, her mind is like a milky bowl of cereal, where the letters don’t come together to form the words. So when she gets frustrated, screams and yells and says mean things, I find myself in another room thinking and sometimes crying to myself that my best friend isn’t the same. I love her very much, that I would do anything for her, but I just wish she could vent another way. I know it not possible.
Well, I just want to thank you for creating this, cause it my first time doing a blog, and I know that things will be ok. So any feed back would be great and helpful. Thanks again, and aloha Ke Akua.
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I’m sorry for your pain. Being trapped in her own body must be hard for her and receiving the fall out from that certainly is not easy for you. Look into caregiver support groups in your area, even if you have to do so online. You may think what good are a lot of frustrated people swapping stories going to do? You will find when you are with other caregivers, there is some sadness, but often laughter. There are things no one can understand but another caregiver and you will find the humor in things. Crying sometimes is good, you are mourning the loss of what was.
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Good afternoon,
I’m Kristin Palardy, with Rescue Alert of California. I’ve seen all the great content you offer your readers, and know that you have the well-being and care of seniors and caregivers at the forefront of what you do. At Rescue Alert of California, we believe that our biggest offering to our viewers is information – information about how to improve the lives of senior citizens that can benefit both seniors and their caregivers.
We would love to have a guest blog post from you on our blog. I believe that our visitors would greatly benefit from and enjoy the content that you would provide. They will also be able to follow the post to your own website, and check out all the other posts that you have. We also have a great amount of information on our blog, and would greatly appreciate the opportunity to share a post on your site.
If you would be interested, please let me know, and we can set that up very easily. If you have any questions, please let me know.
Thank you, I hope to hear from you soon.
Our Website:
http://www.rescuealertofca.com/blog
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Yes, Kristin, that will be fine.
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Jennifer we all want to help. All i can offer is a book that my wife wrote called Who Cares . Its avalable at who-cares-caregivers.com and it will help you thru .
We all love you and want the best for you . Gerry
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I am new to this site but not to care giving. I have been a care giver to my partner of over 20 years. Now she is on the organ transplant list and that alone is another book unto itself on caregiving. I’m overwhelmed. My head is spinning. I am tired and I don’t want to wake up. I just want to hit pause and go away, This is not an option. Help!!!
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Jennifer,
I am sorry for what you are dealing with. Of course you are overwhelmed. I hope you can reach out to support groups in your area, that is often a good place to find out about resources that may help you. Even a break a couple of hours a week, can recharge you mentally. I have a close friend that had a kidney transplant, and it was remarkable how her life improved. I hope that happens for your partner.
Michele
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Keep up the good work. Family dynamics can be so frustrating. I hope knowing there are many others that understand your sacrifice, love, frustration, etc., is helpful.
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I cared for mother until she died several years ago. My Dad is in his 90’s and requires a caregiver. It’s only me and my sister, trying to hold down our jobs, our home lives and still provide for my Dad. He lives with my sister and we have someone come in for a few hours while we’re at work. My sister is there in the mornings before she leaves for work to make sure he has his medicine and a snack. The caregiver prepares his breakfast and late afternoon snack. I’m there every evening after work to make sure he gets dinner and his night time meds. I have other sisters who have chose to not be involved. They plan their lives, their vacations and everything else without a single thought as to what might be happening with Dad. My sister and I are in constant contact regarding Dad and what he needs on a daily basis.
I’m continually astounded at the lack of regard my sisters continue to display. Their selfishness is so hurtful and so complete and so embarrassing that I find it hard to be around them.
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It’s hard to find knowledgeable people on this topic however you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks 970848
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I have been reading all the posts above with heavy heart, I would like to offer a website that can help. who-cares-caregivers.com This is a book my wife has written specifically for caregivers. we nolonger are in the thick of it but i wish we had the book when my mother was alive. The Best To You All Gerry
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Hello, I am a 48 yr old Transgendered woman. I take care of my brother who is paralyzed on the right side from a stroke 8 years ago. He is also blind in one eye with glaucoma and diabetes. Add to this the fact that he does not like me because I am TG and for what happened when our mother died and it is trying to say the least. Recently his mental state is starting to decline and this is adding to the stress as his behavior becomes increasingly hostile. To make matters worse my partner of 30 years was just recently diagnosed with spongiform encephalopathy or Prions disease. she has less than 3 months to live. I am not trying to solicit sympathy. I would like to know of any others who have had similar problems and could tell me how they dealt with this. She sees hospice once a week and they are great people but that’s only for an hour. I can no longer handle taking them both out in public at the same time due to my brothers’ attitude. I guess I just wanted to vent. Sorry if i have offended anyone and thank you.
Bobbie
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Hello, Sara, and all…. My name is Laura, and I, too, am a “sudden caregiver”. I’m 39, married 15 years this past Oct. ’08, and this past May (2008), my husband was in a near-fatal car wreck. Complications from hypothermia suffered during that wreck left him blind, and two dislocated knees, along with the torn ligaments that go along with those injuries, left him physically disabled, at least temporarily.
I’ve been going through this mostly “alone”. I have a wonderful family, but they live 5 hours away. I live out in the country, and though my neighbors are the Salt of the Earth, they have their farms that demand the bulk of their attention – they are able to help me in the tough stuff though. It’s nice to have a neighbor with a Bobcat when there was 8″ of snow the night before!!
Anyway, it’s a wonderful thing to find a blog like this. No matter the illness or disability, at it’s core, Caregiving is a Siblinghood – all of us are in this together, and though they try, nobody can understand it until they’ve been there. So thank you for writing this, and for being there.
You can visit me and more of my rantings here: http://worldturned.blogspot.com .
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My name is Helene Moore, and I am one woman who is trying to help the caregiver.
I want everyone to Adopt A Caregiver. (see my website and blog)
I would like to wipe away all caregivers tears; I know I can’t do that, but I surely can help. I am planting the seed, and I know that word of mouth is potent.
I am new at this (blogging and links, etc, but I will learn)
Every community has caregivers. Please try to find one in your community and just write an email. Be a friend, do not judge, let them know you care. Encourage them to write out their feelings in a journal with a bright colored pen. Let the tell you their story.
I wish you luck with your work with caregiver support. I hope to hear from you.
Keep love and kisses in your life. Helene
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SARA should you need to reach me by e mail please see my profile at wordpress. More than happy to keep in touch. : )
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hello to all of you out there and know that it takes one to truly understand…
i am a women who has been married for over 47 years. i have a dear husband who is slowly dying form advanced prostate cancer, and all the complications that come with it. it is my desire to keep him in our home for as long as i can, and to make his life as comfortable as i can.
i also have a dear darling father who is age 96, and a more dear darling mother who is age 88, and attending to my father like the trooper she is.
the fact that we both are doing this this time, only shows you, we are bonded beyong life now, and i pray we can have some years alone, before we both pass away someday.
she has taught me the skill of love, devotion, allowed anger, allowed frustrations, and most of all, allowed ability to just let it be, and still be just fine.
we share long marriages and she and my father have been together since this women was 17 years old. so i do not have to tell you,,, this is an understanding of two together, all their lives…. it is the example of true marriage and bonded love.
i say, to all out there,, if you are caring for anyone, just remember,,, it is o.k for feel all your emotions,and let them come out, rather than harm you inside. it is fine to ask for more help, as i finally have done after 10 years of struggle. it is all right to share with all who love you, and do not waste time on those who will not be there for you. it is the times of friendship now that count the most. all can be there in good time, as this is probably the worst of times. love your friends, and helpers, and thank them always, every chance you get for their sincerity. you probably deserve that kind of friend. let your adult children, know it all, see it all, and ask for their kindness and support. let them know, you need them now to be there in spirits and deads. make all you know who are close to the ill person i n your life,, that if they are able,, tell that person you love them, forgive them all the errors of whatevers, and peace is fine inside your heart. if not,, make it happen. it really helps your own soul.
i wish you all well and would love to be able to give and recieve huge hugs from anyone who reads this. i know they understand and that helps too… the best to all of us
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