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My brother Jim actually delivered the funeral talk and was able to include some of his own personal experiences that he had in visiting Clara in the past, and during her last hospital stay.  During the funeral talk, at times it looked like Clara was breathing, her chest rising up and down.  I had to convince myself that my eyes were playing tricks on me.  The talk was finished, and the funeral director instructed the family members to pay their last respects.  As Andy walked out, he burst into tears and cried loudly.  Of course I was at his side trying to support him.  A co-worker of his was standing in the hallway, and he stepped toward Andy to hug him and Andy embraced him tightly.  It was sad to see him so broken.  What was going through my mind?  I was wondering if I looked heartless because I was not crying.  I was trying to think what was expected or acceptable behavior from me.  Should I cry too?  Would that help Andy or make it about me needing comfort from him?  As we walked down the steps to the family vehicle arranged by the funeral home, the pressure was over.  Once out of the funeral home and into the vehicle, Clara’s children were pulling themselves together.  It was nice sitting there so we could observe all of our friends as they were coming out of the funeral home, some of which we did not notice while inside.  After the cemetery, we went back to my mother’s house for a meal.  As the day came to a close, one of Clara’s daughter’s hugged me and thanked me for everything.  I was not sure if that was everything related to the funeral or everything related to the care I provided.  At that point, it was the first thank you I had ever received from her, so I decided to take it as a thank you for everything.  My entire account is available at http://www.createspace.com/3469034 or at Amazon.com, just type in the title of my book, LIFE WITH CLARA – ONE CAREGIVER’S JOURNEY.  I appreciate all of your comments and wish all caregivers the strength they need to cope each day!  

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